whatmeanstheworldtoyou

Another oldie but goodie Everything is written by ME unless otherwise stated! Thank you for reading! <3

I lived unattached from an unstable past, Freedom of thought was always my last laugh. I need this break down of how it all went down and now turned out.

I got my first love sick feeling around the age of 15. Watching out of my window I waited for him to want to become my dream. My obsessions made me weak, his face, smell & touch made my knees shake. Like the movies, in my mind it all felt so real. I remember the very first kiss of his lips, the seconds after, I wanted to devote my life to this. That feeling.

My young impressionable heart was living for that dream.. I’d smoke drink & fuck to show him I could be his queen. I wanted him happy. What more could he want.. I wanted to give.  Anything at all I was there for his redeem. I was sacrificial to any fullfillment of his every dream.

I was young with a heart so shy. Every breath I spent was only wanting my own world coming alive. No one could take it away.. Our love I wanted to last. No one could discourage my devotion.. Every harsh word and rumor I surpassed.

Every dream was becoming my bliss. He was my romeo upon my window giving me ‘our goodnight kiss’. We shared all of our time sun after sun, our love, drugs & fun were always Number one.

Every dream was becoming my bliss.. until the nightmare came true of another sharing his kiss. We fought, we cried, and then he replied, I DONT LOVE YOU ANYMORE. When I walked to his house later that eve.. to my eyes i did see.. that whore trying to replace me! How could this be!?

I lived unattached from an unstable past, Freedom of thought was always my last laugh.

Years later Im dazed over thinking these crazy love thoughts. Though I won’t be happy until I receive recognition to recover the times I’d lost. Im obsessing again like that little girl in her own little world, wanting you to taste my succumb. Young vs Wise now instead I wont try. I’ve learned to keep hope in stride but without my imagination no hope would be alive. So ill die alone till a man in charge first divulges his love for I…

All over again Im wanting someone new. Devoted young I was so dumb to control what to do, but now Im much more Wise. I won’t try until that man first divulges his love for I..

I needed this break down. I lived unattached from an unstable past, Freedom of thought was always my last laugh. I needed this break down of how it all went down and turned around.

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